Alexis Dawes

Like anybody else who sells ebooks, books, or other types of information product, I get refunds.

It’s a part of the business. And it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you write about, or how good you claim your information is, you’re going to get them.

So if you’re a newbie, you better get a tough skin. You’re probably going to need it.

I remember when I first started selling ebooks many moons ago.

It took me 2 weeks to get my first order. And 2 days for that person to request a refund.

My first order! How pitiful.

But it wasn’t just a civil “can-I-have-a-refund” refund request. It was a “this-is-crap-and-I-hate-it” refund request.

Admittedly a big crocodile tear welled up in my eye when I saw it.

Later through some keen investigative work I discovered it was a competitor.

And then I felt stupid for getting all bent out of shape. I vowed not to let the whole refund thing bother me again.

Now most of the time my refunds are cut and dry. They request it. I give it. Good luck to you. The end.

But on occassion they do provide a little comic relief…

* A couple of months ago I received a refund request from a customer who conveniently “discovered” that he couldn’t read my ebook because English wasn’t his mother tongue. 

Nevermind that my 400-page salesletter is in English. And that the e-mail he sent me was in English as well.

Hmmm… seems a little fishy. What do you think?

* Just the other day an order came in around 5pm.

The customer e-mails me maybe 45 minutes later saying that he needed the download info.

Then another e-mail came in maybe 90 minutes after that advising me that my customer service was crappy because I hadn’t responded yet, and it was still business hours.

So I check my e-mail after dinner, and respond saying that it was business hours on the west coast, but dinner time on the east coast. Hence my 2.5 hour delay in responding.

Anyway, yesterday I got an e-mail saying that since I never responded to ANY of his e-mails, he wanted a refund.

Now here’s the punchline… in the body of the e-mail it says “4:30pm West Coast Time.”

Now why, why, why would he make reference to West Coast Time if he hadn’t seen the e-mail I sent him? All I could do was laugh!

* And then there’s this one lady who orders everything I write, and then requests a refund on all of it.

Not just the stuff I write under my real name. But also ebooks I write with pen names. Like 6 or 7 ebooks altogether.

The last time she placed an order, I immediately sent her money back with the following e-mail…

————————-

Dear _________________,

In recognizing you as a habitual refund requester, I’ve taken the liberty of sending your payment back.

Please place a check beside the excuse you intended on using this time:

( ) Your salesletter doesn’t match the book at all.
( ) I know this already.
( ) I never received the download information.
( ) This isn’t what I was expecting.
( ) Okay, honestly I just like getting stuff for free.

————————–

She never ordered from me again.

And I imagine I might have saved a bunch of other ebook authors from this virtual kleptomaniac.

Yes, so you’re not the only one with a war chest of ‘colorful’ refund stories.

It’s gonna be okay.

Keep your head up, keep on selling, and grow rich,

Alexis Dawes