People Say the Darndest Things Archives

Catch Up Time

Long time no see, huh?

I’ve been in a serious writing phase these past few months. Creating new reports, constructing new strategies, testing those strategies, writing some more.

In between all of that, three things have happened.

1) I moved.
This time from New York City to Center City, Philadelphia. One incident that prompted this move was the guy who bypassed my buildings concierge, and followed me and my daughter into the elevator. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled like a porcupine because he didn’t press a floor when he got on the elevator.

By the 3rd floor (I lived on 14) I dropped my shopping bags, removed my gloves, turned to face him, looked him directly in the eyes and gave him a look to let him know that he wasn’t going to catch me by surprise.

Even though he could’ve been going to see another person on my floor, I just knew that wasn’t the case. I was 100% sure he was going to harm me. It was a distinct feeling that I absolutely couldn’t ignore.

In the movie New Jack City, there’s a scene where Ice-T (a rapper in real life, but a cop in the movie) is telling a story about a thug who killed his mother in order to be initiated into a gang. It was a random killing.

Well THAT was the thought I had as soon as that elevator door closed. It was truly a gut feeling at its best.

Long story short – it didn’t get gory, but it did get scary. He was found waiting for me to come out of my apartment. In fact, when he ‘attacked’, he didn’t know it was the police coming out of my apartment.

I packed up, found a gorgeous condo in Philadelphia, overlooking Rittenhouse Square, and the rest is history.

All hail the portable lifestyle of information product creation!

BTW, this isn’t meant to scare anyone away from visiting NYC. I still feel very safe in the city. I just didn’t feel like the building I was living in was secure anymore. And for the money you have to pay to live in NYC, the stress of that incident took A LOT away from me.

I’m a pansy that way – a pansy who’s determined to be around for a long time.

2) Meanwhile on the Internet… last month I realized that I had a super scamming affiliate.

He had two Paydotcom usernames – both shared a similar phrase.

He sent a number of orders for Desperate Buyers Only in June. I paid him for those sales on July 1st. In July I started getting more orders from him.

Then all of sudden, I started getting chargebacks. First it was one a day, for three days. Then one day I got like four chargebacks. I looked at where the sales came from, and sure enough they all came from that one affiliate.

And all the customer e-mail addresses looked exactly the same – first name, last name, with a Gmail or Yahoo domain. Or first name, last name, and a number.

I went through and refunded the rest of the orders he sent, terminated my relationship with him, and closed the DBO affiliate program to new applicants.

I was so pissed off! Especially since I’d just gone through that PayPal account freezing incident this year.

Apparently Paydotcom got complaints about this person, and they reported him to PayPal. I also reported him to PayPal as soon as the chargebacks started coming in. But that call probably fell on deaf ears.

When I called PayPal about the incident, the rep didn’t even know what an affiliate program was! That’s idiotic.

How the heck can PayPal put their reps on the line to talk about e-commerce issues, and a rep NOT know what an affiliate does? There’s something wrong that picture.

That incident further prompted me to continue launching my new products with Google Checkout.

Speaking of new products and Google Checkout, I’ve been VERY pleased with the service so far. I’ve been with them for 5 months, and I have nothing to complain about.

Amen to that one.

3) As I mentioned in a previous blog post (when PayPal originally froze my account) I’m currently adding more print products to my lineup.

First off, when you snail-mail your products you have a tracking number. So you have fewer problems with chargebacks. In fact, when I did print products early on in my career, I won around 75% of my chargeback cases because I was able to provide tracking information, and show that the person signed for the delivery. (They frequently claimed they didn’t get anything.)

But even more important – (because in reality, chargebacks and problem transactions are the exception – not the norm) – print products create a better long-term image.

I think we all get a little excited and anxious when we’re waiting for something in the mail. I order at least one thing from Amazon nearly every, single week, because I like getting stuff in the mail – (and I read a helluva lot).

As I’m bombarded with information online, I can appreciate being able to pop something in my bag to read at the park.

Yes, e-books are far easier to deliver, and they give the customer the benefit of instant gratification.

But when you want to start going into higher price points – as I wish to do, you’ve gotta go print.

So my brand new $129 product – The Good and Fast Content Creation Formula – is print. And that’s just the beginning.

In case you’re wondering, I’ll talk about The Good and Fast Content Creation Formula later this week.

Until then!

Like anybody else who sells ebooks, books, or other types of information product, I get refunds.

It’s a part of the business. And it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you write about, or how good you claim your information is, you’re going to get them.

So if you’re a newbie, you better get a tough skin. You’re probably going to need it.

I remember when I first started selling ebooks many moons ago.

It took me 2 weeks to get my first order. And 2 days for that person to request a refund.

My first order! How pitiful.

But it wasn’t just a civil “can-I-have-a-refund” refund request. It was a “this-is-crap-and-I-hate-it” refund request.

Admittedly a big crocodile tear welled up in my eye when I saw it.

Later through some keen investigative work I discovered it was a competitor.

And then I felt stupid for getting all bent out of shape. I vowed not to let the whole refund thing bother me again.

Now most of the time my refunds are cut and dry. They request it. I give it. Good luck to you. The end.

But on occassion they do provide a little comic relief…

* A couple of months ago I received a refund request from a customer who conveniently “discovered” that he couldn’t read my ebook because English wasn’t his mother tongue. 

Nevermind that my 400-page salesletter is in English. And that the e-mail he sent me was in English as well.

Hmmm… seems a little fishy. What do you think?

* Just the other day an order came in around 5pm.

The customer e-mails me maybe 45 minutes later saying that he needed the download info.

Then another e-mail came in maybe 90 minutes after that advising me that my customer service was crappy because I hadn’t responded yet, and it was still business hours.

So I check my e-mail after dinner, and respond saying that it was business hours on the west coast, but dinner time on the east coast. Hence my 2.5 hour delay in responding.

Anyway, yesterday I got an e-mail saying that since I never responded to ANY of his e-mails, he wanted a refund.

Now here’s the punchline… in the body of the e-mail it says “4:30pm West Coast Time.”

Now why, why, why would he make reference to West Coast Time if he hadn’t seen the e-mail I sent him? All I could do was laugh!

* And then there’s this one lady who orders everything I write, and then requests a refund on all of it.

Not just the stuff I write under my real name. But also ebooks I write with pen names. Like 6 or 7 ebooks altogether.

The last time she placed an order, I immediately sent her money back with the following e-mail…

————————-

Dear _________________,

In recognizing you as a habitual refund requester, I’ve taken the liberty of sending your payment back.

Please place a check beside the excuse you intended on using this time:

( ) Your salesletter doesn’t match the book at all.
( ) I know this already.
( ) I never received the download information.
( ) This isn’t what I was expecting.
( ) Okay, honestly I just like getting stuff for free.

————————–

She never ordered from me again.

And I imagine I might have saved a bunch of other ebook authors from this virtual kleptomaniac.

Yes, so you’re not the only one with a war chest of ‘colorful’ refund stories.

It’s gonna be okay.

Keep your head up, keep on selling, and grow rich,

Alexis Dawes

This blog gives advice. But as I stated in the headline, there are also some harsh realities of doing business online.

And I think it’s only fair to give them an equal voice so that less seasoned netpreneurs can see the perils as well as the profit points.

I got an e-mail several days ago from some woman who was clearly on a psychopathic rampage. Mind you, she wasn’t a customer of mine. She didn’t show up in any of my customer databases, nor did she ask for a refund.

Maybe her husband had just run off with some woman named Alexis and she was pissed off at the mere sight of my name. Perhaps her dog named Alexis had just bitten her on the bum and she had to get 10 stitches. Could be a competitor. I don’t know. I don’t care.

I’m just glad I use a P.O. Box now instead of my home address. Crazy people worry me.

Although at least she acknowledged that I’m a good copywriter. :-)

 ——————————————————-

Let me tell you something. You are very skilled with words. I see that

But you think you are slick when you are not. The FBI and the police
have been notified about your sites. I hope you enjoy your time in jail
Your Telephone number is a random voice box A.K.A – Fake
Your Street Address does not show up in an undisclosed database A.K.A – Fake
You are scamming people day by days writing novels of crap trying to persuade them to buy junk for prices like $24.95, and what do they get in return? crap.
-THIS IS AN OFFICIAL NOTICE YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED TO THE FBI-
And the Internet crime bureau at http://www.ic3.com/
As I said -have a nice time in jail 
——————————————————–

I guess I was feeling mellow that evening because I replied with a very calm response. I told her to leave me alone. And she did.

I just hope Courtney took her lithium that evening.

Good luck to anyone else who has to deal with the Courtney’s of the world.

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