Your eyes must be open - with glasses on. You must have the skills to interview complete strangers without the slightest hint of nosiness. You have to be able to put random clues together in order to see the big, achy picture.

The ability to pluck a desperate topic from a normal conversation can be compared to vacation time for some people in the work world. If you don’t use it, you lose it.

So come on and flex with me. Today’s post gives you some (more) mental exercises for finding desperate topics.

1) Your friends and family.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… friends and family make some of the best kindling wood for ebooks. Examine my own six degrees of separation.

My mom’s in sales. My dad is in the restaurant business. My step-dad is a retired cop. My step-mom is a former runway model. My step-mom’s father owns a landscape company.

I’m familiar with the occupations of nearly every mom (and some dad’s) of the kids in my daughter’s class. They include several UN workers, a translator, an artist, an attorney, a stay-at-home dad/IT professional, etc.

Traveling around the world I’ve met a stay-at-home mom who’s a stock picking genius… a video producer… a musician selling his own CDs… a chef… a professional photographer… a former horse trainer… a children’s clothing shop owner… and the list goes on.

Do you think out of that rather limited list that you could find a desperate topic somewhere?

Of course you could!

And my secret to success really isn’t a secret at all.

I like people. All kinds of people. And I like listening to people tell me their stories.

Not only do you find desperate topics that way, you also get to learn about their friends and family. And the cycle starts all over again.

2) Associations.

Whenever I have an interest, I join an association.

I love to travel. So I’ve joined two associations specifically for professionals in the travel industry.

My goal is to know what woes the workers of the travel industry. And the easiest way to get the inside scoop (without being in the travel industry) is to participate in their trade groups.

I read their newsletters. I buy their research reports. I lurk on their message boards. (Message boards that are reserved for paying members only.)

It can be a costly venture. Some associations cost hundreds of dollars to join.

But the intimate knowledge you’ll walk away with can easily be worth tens of thousands of dollars.

3) Blog comments.

Besides leaving my own words of wisdom, I’m a big fan of reading through blog comments for desperate topics.

Sometimes people ask questions. Sometimes they mention their unfulfilled requests or nagging problems. At times they even out right say what they want.

Of course not every blog comment is worth its weight gold. You still have to do your research to make sure it matches the desperate topics criteria. But they’re certainly a good starting point.

Your Assignment for the Week–

Using one of the above mentioned resources, find just one desperate topic that has been measured against the DBO criteria.

Put it in your idea folder.

When you’re finished working on existing projects, pull out that idea and get busy on it.

Around two months ago I began teaching her how to write and send letters to her grandparents. (Snail mail letters, not e-mail.)

Then two weeks ago I decided to up the ante a little bit, and she started writing a story called The Underwater Sea Man.

That story is now 5 pages long - (5 pages of handwriting practice paper… the ones with the big lines).

Initially she was excited about writing the story. But on the first day when she realized she’d have to sound out a lot of words that she didn’t know, she wanted to give up.

Instead I helped her along. And yesterday as she finished reading everything that she’d written so far, she SQUEALED with delight.

She said – and I quote verbatim:

“Mommy I’m so-o-o-o proud of myself!”

Plans for the second and third Underwater Sea Man book are already in the works. All hail the active imagination!

You Can’t Shove - but You Can Show

As a parent I feel as though I’d be doing a great disservice to the fruits of my labor if I didn’t expose her to the writing world.

Writing – after all – is much more than ebooks. Being able to write well opens doors in so many different ways.

For example, when my grandmother got placed into a shoddy nursing home, I wrote an epic complaint letter to the governor of New York. Someone from his staff replied personally – within days. The problems were rectified almost immediately.

And even though I did horribly on my SATs, and barely made it out of high school, I still eeked my way into New York University. It was an homage to my writing because I cracked that entrance essay out of the park. (Although I never ended up graduating from NYU.)

That’s why when my daughter began asking what I was doing on the computer, I broke down the publishing process into bite-sized morsels that she could understand.

I explained how and why people buy my ebooks. We talked about writing stories that painted a magical picture for the reader. (Which is how The Underwater Sea Man was born.) I even showed her how to check my orders for the day.

My goal is to help her mentally grasp the Empire State Building sized power that mere lines and curves on a page can wield.

If she becomes a writer – awesome.

If she doesn’t become a writer – awesome.

The gifts bestowed now can never be taken away. They will be given sunlight and water and they will grow. And they will benefit her in ways I can’t even fathom right now.

So while you’re helping others with your words of wisdom, don’t forget to plant the seeds of writing possibility into the younger ones around you.

You can’t just be somebody who writes.

Be a parent who shows the excitement of reading and writing.

In his best “westernized women are trash” tone, Pei Mai asks Beatrix what forms of martial arts she’s good at. She says that she’s proficient in blah, blah, blah… proficient in blah, blah, blah… and more than proficient in blah, blah, blah.

Her so-called proficiency is soon put to the test, where we see Pei Mai barely lift a finger to defeat Beatrix.

Through her angry tears (and Pei Mai grasping her arm, nearly ripping it off) she concedes that she has a lot to learn.

The moral of this piece of the story?

Proficiency Sucks

When expert status (Pei Mai) was pitted against proficiency (Beatrix), proficiency got a first-class, no-nonsense thrashing.

And that brings me to the message of this post.

In the world of writing, most of us are proficient. I’m a proficient writer. I know I could be better. But proficiency has helped me sell a lot of ebooks, so why rock the boat, right?

Rock the boat because proficiency can become a danger to yourself in the big scheme of things.

Okay breathe that one in for a moment…

Proficiency is okay if you’re a government drone with a pension and 15 years under your belt. But will it always serve US well? Forever and ever, amen???

My proficiency (knock on wood) works to my advantage right now. But what if I could blink and have all the necessary words jump directly from my brain onto the monitor with barely any mental interruption? My skills would then give me a leg up over proficient writers.

Which leads me to a comment I read by Catherine Franz on Amazon.com. She was reviewing Word Work: Surviving and Thriving as a Writer, when she said:

“One of my goals is to read every book on writing.”

I was actually stunned when I read that statement. I got up, walked away from the computer and thought about the breadth of it. My heart was actually pounding.

It’s kind of like Beatrix training with Pei Mai to become a super warrior. (Which – by the way – we later discover saves her life, and helps her to defeat Bill.)

It’s an incredible tactic from a writers perspective. I can’t even fathom how much better I’d be as a writer if I took the time to read every single writing book there is. How much faster I could write. How much more creative I’d become over time.

As a writer I can see a goal like that changing the very essence of who I am.

That’s why I’ve stolen Catherine’s idea. (Though I’m sure she won’t mind.) I too am on the path to reading every writing book available.

And I propose a challenge to you… are you ready to change your proficient ways?

Are you prepared to know all that is, so that you can become one who truly knows?

Don’t decide now.

Just think about it.

All in all I know I’m a good writer. I know that I was born to write.

But sometimes I lose my thunder. Sometimes I go to write, and I don’t feel like I can put the words together well enough to please you. I don’t feel like what I say is important enough to make a difference.

And so I languish in a place of uncomfortable-ness. Wanting to say something - but feeling nervous and apprehensive about the process and my ability.

And yes… that may manifest itself as a lack of blogging. (But oddly enough, I continue to create new ebooks with no problem.)

There’s this huge part of me that understands how wrong these feelings are. That part of me says confidently to others, “Writing is my natural strength.” And it’s there with me when I offer a consultation, and leave the listener excited with possibilities. That wiser part of me goes through these combative periods with my overly critical side.

Anyway, I thought it would be important to share this with you.

Why?

Because I try to keep it real at all times. I don’t want you to think that I don’t suffer along the way too. I butt my head against the same obstacles as everybody else.

Problems are surmountable though. At least this one is.

Two Ways I’m Combating This Form of Writers Block-itis

1) Templates

One of my goals for 2008 is to write more promotional articles. But I sometimes have a difficult time coming up with a lot of topics at once.

So I recently created a list of 800+ article title templates. Since I completed this massive document I’ve been able to crank out 2 articles per day with total and complete ease.

2) Writing More

Since I’ve begun to increase my promotional article output, I clearly see the value of what I write. My ideas are no longer mere thoughts that I mentally beat up before they can reach my audience. And that’s what I needed to see.

The only way to prove that you have the ability to do something is to just do it. Allow yourself to get stuck by thorns, and still keep reaching for the rose anyway.

Now be creative and prosper.

But the most common complaint I hear is, “I’ve worked and raised a family. I’ve never had the time for a hobby. I probably don’t have anything desperate to write about.”

Poppycock! (That’s a word I live to say on a weekly basis.)

Nobody amongst us has a “normal” life. “Normal” meaning not being able to extract some valuable life lessons.

Everybody has a salable moment or two. It’s almost always just a matter of shining the light on the moments so that you (the writer) can understand their value.

Here are 10 questions (okay more than 10) that’ll help you extract the desperate topics from your everyday life.

1) What type of work have you done? Were you exceptionally good at a particular task? Did you reach a particularly tough milestone that most people in your position fail to do?

For example, my cousin – a customer service rep - recently got her evaluation at work. She was the only person in her department to have received a 5 (out of a possible 5 points) for the way she handles her customers.

Could that be an ebook? Angled to the right audience, most definitely.

2) Was there a piece of advice your mother, father, grandfather, or favorite aunt imparted to you that rang true your entire life? Did it help you avoid disastrous results? How?

3) Did you have an unusual experience with your children? Did you homeschool a (now) Harvard grad? Was there a crisis (drug addiction, phobias) that they overcame? Did you turn your picky eater into a prolific muncher?

I started teaching my daughter to read at the age of 3. Now at 5 she’s reading 2^nd grade level books with ease. She handwrites letters to her grandparents and even pens her own stories.

Do you think other parents would be desperate to know my techniques? Of course.

4) Do you know more than one language? How did you learn it? Do you have an interesting educational approach to your linguistic skills?

5) Where have you lived? Did you ever have a negative experience with your living situation? Were you evicted? Did you buy a house after a foreclosure or a bankruptcy? Did you find a cheap apartment in an expensive city?

6) Did you get straight A’s in school? Were you able to consistently crank out A+ term papers that were written in 48 hours or less? Were your note taking skills so good that you didn’t have to study? Did you conquer a class that you’d previously failed?

7) Did you lose 100 lbs in 100 days? Have you been able to maintain your ideal weight, even though you love to eat? Have you found that eating a certain food helps you with your physical health?

Have you managed to keep your love life as exciting as the honeymoon? Did you divorce and re-marry the same person? What were your lessons learned the second time around? How do you keep your marriage spicy when your spouse is in the military or travels a lot? If you’re single, how do you keep your dating coffers full?

9) Did you overcome a specific health crisis? Did you beat the doctors predictions with an unusual form of treatment? Do you attribute your super tight abs to something other than exercise? Has your advice on treating the flu always been spot on?

10) Have you failed at something important? What advice can you give to others who are doing what you did? What can you tell them to avoid failure?

After you’ve honestly answered these questions I want you to begin looking at every life situation as potential desperate material. Sometimes the only way to write the ebook is to see the writing in your own life.

What a crock of shit! Goal achievement isn’t easy. Nor is it supposed to be easy. If you’re pursuing a goal it’s because the thing you want didn’t happen during the normal course of your life. So it’s going to be a challenge.

Don’t crave ease. Crave the ability and stamina to get the job done no matter what the circumstances.

And if you find that you’re floundering at the goal achievement process no matter what you do, then have a peek at my new Business Goal Bootcamp e-book.

Why?

Because I’m a writer, just like you. I understand the challenges that come with our craft. And I’ve faced them both successfully and unsuccessfully.

Business Goal Bootcamp displays some vital (often missed) steps that flat out motivate you to get the job done. It’s a fast read, and guaranteed food for thought.

Viva la New Year’s resolution revolution!

If I hadn’t incorporated that trait into my life at that time, I don’t think I’d be sitting here writing this blog. I’d be in the bed, resting up for my 9-to-5.

Don’t get me wrong… Occasionally I still struggle to fully incorporate this particular trait into my life. But I’m finding this particular struggle is lessening in intensity. It was a hurricane several years ago. Today it’s a light breeze.

So what is this problem? What do other infopreneurs frequently confess as their biggest downfall?

Lack of focus.

The inability to complete one project at a time, without being mentally sidetracked by another idea that appears 1,000 times more profitable. The grass always looks greener on the other side-syndrome.

Although it frequently masks itself as (ahem) ‘productivity,’ it is anything but. At the very least you’ll constantly be running around in circles, never truly achieving your highest potential. And left unchecked, it can completely ruin your business.

Frustrating thought, isn’t it?

To know you have this problem, and yet also be working with the emperor of focus grabbers - the Internet.

I’ll be honest with you, 60% of solving this problem involves implementing nothing but sheer will power. If you can’t get it in your mind to stay focused, you won’t.

The other 40% of the “magic pill” is a plan. And I’m not talking about writing your goals down and taking it from there.

That stuff doesn’t work for people like you and me. My notebooks and online files are LITTERED with traditional lists of goals. Lists that I write and never look at again.

Just like a diabetic needs to follow certain dietary restrictions, you need a plan that fits your type of business personality.

And what’s worked for me is outlined in Business Goal Bootcamp.

Business Goal Bootcamp is a plan that I outlined for myself several years ago when I let my lack of focus nearly ruin my life.

It wasn’t something that I planned on releasing to the general public. But I’ve been seeing such positive results from my clients who have used it, that I decided it might be a good thing for all.

As 2008 rapidly descends upon us, New Year’s resolutions are in the works for many.

Don’t keep playing the same “I-can-do-it-game.” It doesn’t work. I repeat… IT DOESN’T WORK.

Check out Business Goal Bootcamp, and set the stage for a productivity and success.

She’s a wine connaisseur and everytime I visit, she picks out a bottle from her cellar to share with me.

She knows all about the glasses you have to use - and why - she knows regions, and grapes, and all kinds of associated wine-y stuff.

Needless to say, since we’ve become friends I’ve upped my wine knowledge considerably. Which is great because in the past I’ve always been stumped about the type of wine to order with dinner.

In fact, today I went to the bookstore and got a basic wine guide so I could further educate myself.

To be honest with you… I never imagined actually sitting down and learning about wines. But Cathy’s sommelier-like interest sparked my curiousity.

And that brings me to the main point for today’s post.

As 2007 rapidly approaches many of you will be making your New Year’s resolutions.

Maybe you want to lose weight, or drink more water, or stop cussing, or make more money.

Just keep in mind that it’s your wits - your writing - your ability to create salable material that keeps money in your pocket.

And most writers who live this life - and live it well - will confess to being prolific in many different subjects. Or at least semi-prolific. Kind of like a jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none in the knowledge department.

I mean honestly if I read about the Internet and marketing all day and night I’d be both bored shitless, and an incredibly dull writer.

(So for those of you who say you’ve read every marketing ebook out there, and you’re not getting any closer to reaching your goals, now you have an idea why.)

Expanding your mind horizonally is an important act to fulfill in this game.

Your creative brain needs to absorb ideas outside of the marketing realm to really create a synthesis that excites you and your readers.

With that said, my New Years resolution for 2007 is this… to read about and/or experience 2 totally new topics every month.

Not necessarily to become an encyclopedic expert on every thing. Just to gain insight into other aspects of life that I may have never noticed.

In 2006 I did this on a smaller scale by teaching myself how to sew and do hand embroidery.

As a result, I’ve found many flaws within existing sewing manuals that I might be able to write about in my own ebook. Just the way things are explained can be horribly confusing for a novice seamstress. 

The concept of expanding your horizons is such a simple idea.

You might be tempted to dismiss it with a cursory “Yeah right, as if I don’t have enough on my plate already…”

But consider this… the curse isn’t knowing too much. It comes from knowing too little. The more you know, the more you can build upon.

Be a sponge in 2007 and grow rich,

Alexis Dawes

It’s difficult not having any family members around. Especially for my daughter. And sometimes for me.

But on the upside when people at the fruit stand, or coffee shop, or at my daughters school realize I’m a single parent in a foreign city, they tend to look out for me.

For example, since I’ve recuperated from my dislocated knee cap summer, I’ve been to no less than 7 dinner parties.

Over the past 2 nights I’ve been to two kid-friendly dinner parties.

Last nights party led me to a Bulgarian mom who was studying fashion marketing, and knew Bulgarian, Russian, Japanese and English. She’s now taking French here in Montreal.

Then there was the young single dad who was on sabbatical.

The hosts were Colombians who recently immigrated to Montreal, and were also studying French.

With that said, do YOU see an ebook here?

I do.

How did the Bulgarian mom manage to learn so many foreign languages? I mean we’re talking about languages with different alphabets. And she can speak, write and read them all.

How does a single dad survive on a sabbatical for a year? What insights and tips can he give to other single dads? (Who have far less support and information than single moms.)

My point here is that people - not necessarily the Internet - are THE true wealth of information.

Everybody (including myself) likes to take the ‘faceless’ way out, when it comes to researching a topic.

We look up articles, we read books, we e-mail experts we’ve never seen. And it works.

But… sometimes it’s even more effective to step out of your faceless comfort zone and meet real people.

Meetup.com offers all kinds of groups in most major cities around the world. It’s an easy way to expand your horizons in a structured environment.

Wanna write an ebook about poker? Join a poker meetup group. Writing an ebook about an alternative health topic? Join an alternative health meetup group.

And don’t just be the quiet observer, ask questions. Be interested in who other people are. What they do for a living. Where they’ve lived. Listen out for unusual experiences, and ask for elaboration.

When you click with certain members, exchange numbers. The point here is to be proactive in widening your circle of real life friends.

Because as the old saying goes, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”

Meetup and grow rich,

Alexis Dawes

And the reader begins to tell me about an unprofitable site that he’d been running.

While he was barely making peanuts, another seller in the same niche was making some insane amount of money. Insane like over $10,000, but under $50,000 a month. (And no… it’s not internet marketing related.)

So said reader surveyed his newsletter subscribers (40-70 year old women) to find out why they weren’t buying from him.

“We don’t have any money!” they exclaimed.

“I’m on social security - fixed income…” said one reader.

“My husband is ill, and I can barely afford to buy his medicine,” said another.

According to a survey he conducted, nobody could afford to buy from said reader.

And yet, a fellow competitor was raking in the cash. Hmmmm.

What did I tell said reader?

Well here’s my experience.

I’ve sold information to readers who were in some pretty horrible financial situations.

Sick husbands… lost jobs… bankruptcy… fixed incomes… hospital bills… car repo’s… I’ve heard it all.

Yeah, the EXACT same excuses that my reader heard from his subscribers.

Only thing is, I hear those excuses AFTER they purchase from me.

I’m talking about people who had to borrow a friend or family members credit card or PayPal account, or wait 2 weeks to mail me a money order. No BS dire financial straights.

And it was during that experience I discovered that every niche has the potential to be profitable.

Sure, there are some poor older women out there. There are poor folks everywhere. I was poor for a long time.

But let’s look at the flip side.

There’s this great big retirement community in Florida for active older adults called The Villages. Think of it as a Disneyworld for seniors.

According to 2000 cenus info, the median age at The Villages is 66.3. The median household income, $42,542. 52.4% of the residents are women.

These silver foxes have tricked out golf carts - (think MTV’s “Pimp My Ride” meets golf cart granny). They’ve got big ass custom homes, with specially designed driveways. Two luxury cars in the garage. Landscaping that rivals the front of any luxury hotel. And there are like 20 banks in the community alone. Banks don’t come a runnin’ unless there’s gold in the hills.

If you’re not making any money it’s because YOU haven’t hit upon the sweet spot yet, not because people don’t have money.

People say they don’t have any money because (A) it’s a convenient excuse, or (B) they don’t want what you’re selling. For the most part.

Sometimes people really are extremely broke. And sometimes they’ll be subscribers to your newsletter or readers of your blog.

But what are the odds that every broke person on earth ends up visiting your site? If you said “very slim,” then you see my point.

If the customer isn’t nibbling, maybe it’s because you’re selling a product that they have already. Or your copy is dull. Or your product is dull. Maybe your site design is ugly.

Maybe your information is too generic. I mean just because it’s new and interesting to you doesn’t mean it’s new to the people who you want to buy from you.

Either way, it’s not them. It’s you.

Rework your plan and grow rich,

Alexis Dawes