Yesterday I offered a tip for writing emotional stories in your salesletter.

That main point being to relive the situation that you want to write about. Most important, get into the emotional aspect of the memory. Then allow that full memory to spill out on your paper (or computer screen).

But I was rushing when I wrote it. And as I hobbled up the street to get my daughter from swim class, I remembered one key component I should’ve mentioned.

When I do consultations for my Desperate Buyers Only readers, many of them ask me to review their salesletter. While most clearly understand the concept of telling the story, they don’t understand how much depth the story should have.

For example, I had one reader who was selling an e-report for women suffering from a specific condition. The reader had cured herself of the condition, and was telling her customers how she did it.

I won’t give you the exact copy as it was written on the web page, but it went something like this…

“Every day I would wake up to the same awful pain. Then one day my temperature shot up to 107 degrees, and my husband said enough is enough. He rushed me to the hospital.

From then on I decided that I was going to take control of my health. Up until that point the doctors said it was all in my head. And here I was in the hospital, burning up with a fever, moaning in pain.

That exact cure is presented in detail in _______________________”

What’s wrong here?

The writer has zoomed through the part where her prospects are supposed to identify with her.

When you are writing about a situation that you suffered through, it’s very important that you mention all the additional problems that were created. And if it’s a physical pain, then let your reader know just how awful the pain was.

Here’s what I would say…

“My once happy-go-lucky 6 year old began following my every footstep. The teachers sent a note home requesting a meeting with her dad and I. Apparently she went from A’s and B’s to almost all F’s in a matter of weeks.

I knew what it was, and it broke my heart.

The pain from the _______________ caused me to have frequent, uncontrolable crying spells when I was supposed to be cooking dinner or doing the laundry.

My baby was worried. She couldn’t concentrate.  _______________________ doesn’t just affect you, it affects the people you love the most.

I know I don’t have to tell you how difficult some days are. During my darkest period, I could barely exist. The pain was so unbearable at times that I thought my body was turning itself inside out.

Imagine the devil himself inside of your stomach, scraping and stabbing your insides with a searing hot pitchfork. Or a big rig truck running over your torso while doing 1 mile per hour.

I remember telling my doctor that this pain made labor seem like an all expense paid holiday on the French Riveria.

One day I woke up with a fever of 107 degrees. The only thing I remember from that day are the tears in my husbands eyes. It was obvious that he thought I was dying. From what he now tells me, I told him I was dying.

I don’t remember being rushed to the hospital. Or being given an emergency blood transfusion.

But I do remember waking up in the hospital from this living nightmare, and vowing that I would heal myself.

Living life this way was not really living life at all. I told myself that I had to get better. That I would get better. And no matter what the doctors said, I would do it on my own terms.

Nearly one year later I’m sitting here writing this message of hope to other __________________ sufferers out there.”

Whew… you see the difference?

The revised version offers a more vivid picture of what happens in a womans life when she suffers from ___________ .

I mentioned the hardship of the child because a mother – a good mother - never wants to see her child suffer because of something that she has done. That strikes a strong emotional heartstring.

Now look at how I describe said illness.

This isn’t your regular garden variety pain. This is turn your body inside out pain. This pain is nothing short of pure evil manifest.

And it’s these types of metaphorical descriptions that _________________ sufferers will identify with.

Okay so here’s the 1+1=2 message for today.

You must combine emotionally rich copy with detailed descriptions to create copy that prospects identify with, and are encouraged to buy from.

Tape that little sentence to your monitor so when you start slacking, you’ll remember what the goal is.

Anyway, I hope that’s clear enough, because I don’t know how else to elaborate without someone shelling out a quick $97 for the e-book version.  

Alexis Dawes

I’ve got a salesletter swipe file the size of Mount Everest.

It’s like the equivalent of having an Imax movie theatre screen swinging from the ceiling in your livingroom.

I keep it out so my info-marketing buddies can drool. One of them calls it a copywriters wet dream.

But as I make this candid confession, I hope my buddies aren’t reading this blog.

You see I’ve been keeping a secret stash of extra special salesletters. Salesletters that I only expose to the light of day when I need to buy a car, pay for a first class trip around the world, or put an extra $20K in the bank.

What makes them so special, you ponder?

They’re salesletters that tell a story. And in my world, they are the air I breathe. The cream of the salesletter swipe file crop.

The Scientific Explanation - Alexis Dawes Style…

I’d love to give you some detailed psychological mumbo-jumbo as to why people get into stories, but I gotta get my kid in a few minutes, and you did come here looking for a primer.

So instead let’s just look at the entertainment industry.

Studios spend hundreds of millions of dollars making films because people like movies. In book publishing, sales of fiction titles were up in 2005. We like to be entertained. And stories entertain us at some primal level.

When you sell information on the Internet you’re usually in a competition against one, five, ten, or even dozens of other infoproducts within your niche.

If everyone writes a salesletter that sounds like a massive pitchfest, the prospect is probably going to pick the cheapest one, and be done with the sale.

That’s why when I sit down to write my salesletter I start off with a story. A nice entertaining story.

You See, The Story IS The Pitch

The story enables you to emotionally (that’s the magic word here) connect with the readers problems, fears, hopes and dreams. It puts you eye to eye with the reader, and allows the reader to identify with you.

It’s like that in real life too.

Tania - my cousins friend - has a tendency to abrutly end their telephone conversations whenever my cousin starts telling stories about her kids. Tania doesn’t have children. So she doesn’t identify with certain topics that my cousin talks about. They are finding it harder to connect as friends because their lives are so different.

The power of a story truly permeates our lives in so many unconscious ways.

So how do you successfully storytell in salesletters? How do you connect in such a way that practically forces a reader to want to do business with you?

It all starts with imagination.

In your mind go back to the situation that you’re going to write about.

Relive it. Think of all the emotions you felt.

Remember what you did… how you did it… your facial expressions… the smells in the air… the sounds you heard. Were you nervous? Were you shaking with fear? Were you elated? Grinning from ear to ear? Sweat dripping profusely from your chin? Did thoughts of suicide run through your mind? Dig deep. Relive it. Make it real all over again.

While you’re in this heightened emotional state, sit down at your computer and tell the story as you feel it. I must emphasize as you feel it.

If you’re not reliving the moment from an emotional standpoint, it’s NOT going to work.

Emotionless copy is boring copy. And boring copy means slow sales.

You have to paint a mental picture for your prospect. Use your honesty and candor to make prospects trust you. They will know that you’ve been where they are, and that you understand them.

A good story makes defenses come down, and credit cards come out.

And that’s better than sending out personalized e-mail any day.

Soon I’ll show you how to reach this emotional ferver even when you don’t have a personal connection to the topic you’re writing the salesletter for.

So I guess you’ll have to keep visiting for the next part of this story… (Gotcha!)